January 2012










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January 2012
Tuesday 31
So even though I am as I am as an old fucking fart being an old fucking fart sometimes that is just not good enough, so enough is always more than enough!

So from this day forward I pledge nothing but what I have always been.

A crazy uncontrollable ball of wistful meandering navigating this swirl-hole the best I can, so help me be it!

Ruth bought an I Phone and that is how I am connected at the moment...and the new computer is doing what my old computers have not done for years...namely, when you push a button, something takes place instantly! Wow! I'm like a little boy with a brand new firetruck!

Wednesday 25

I am on the new computer and it seems to worK

I gotta check it out!

Okay, I can't tell you how pazzazzed I am!

It fucking eorks!

Tuesday 24
What a day. I finally put some money down on a new computer, which I will pick up tomorrow and then I will see what happens...

I also bought a scanner which I have wanted foe some time..

Ruth went in and bought a I-phone 4s and is currently depressed because nothing works in Cerrillos...between us we spent some bucks, and all for technology.

This thing I m working on took me through 4 years of University and I can hardly see the letters on the keys being they are all worn off...and if that was the only problem it had that wouldn't be bad, but basically, it has had its day.

I may be as sad as Ruth tomorrow if all this new stuff is no better than what I have now...sometimes I think life was much more easy when none of this stuff was in my life, but then that was then, this is now.

Monday 23
I woke up at my usual restless panic hour between 2:30 and 3:33 and began thinking about the concept of GOD, and in the clarity of early morning it seemed perfectly obvious there is a divine force, well beyond any of our abilities to comprehend, you know, how did all of this stuff get here? By accident?

I suppose it was the solar flare from two days ago that got me started rumbling through my spiritual drawers, because first of all, the sun is one hell of a force that really no one can explain how it got there (I know scientist like to pontificate their theories) but one thing for sure if it was not there, nothing would be here...

Halleluiah, I see the LIGHT, or as Michael the Arch Angel once told me in the closed psychiatric ward of an Army hospital, "You see the sun---it's the eye of God."  

Sunday 22
7:03 PM
For many years I have fluctuated  between abstract/action/non-figurative  and abstract/impressionist/realism starting from Humboldt State College in Northern California 1969-70, when enrolled as an academic, I took a few art classes, painting, sculpture, jewelry, and one art history requirement, Art Theory, lead by Glen Berry, a superb artist but brilliant teacher. In one of his painting classes, he came up to me and said, "Ken, you really know how to murder colors," smiled and walked on. I got an "A" in all of his classes.

Anyway, one day in the painting studio, I looked around to see what everybody was doing, then glanced at the long painting tables some students were working on.

I realized the only true unique and creative art in the room was the accidental splats, and slashes that had occurred across the tops of those tables.

In short, they were beautiful simply because of random fractalism.

And if you understand any  of that, then that is where I have been visually as an artist for the better part of 40 years.

Two lighting views of the same painting titled "THE BIG BANG"

The above painting is  4 X 6 feet...the pictures below are 16 X 32 inch details

Wed. 18
Just to keep this page open, yes it still is and many things are happening of which  I will update very soon.
And this limited edition of print o your choice soon explained...

Saturday 14

Ruth and I feel the absence of our big old friend Shiloh everyday, and I expect we will for a long long time.

I'm not overly suspicious (I think) but once again I am very glad Friday the 13th is over (which ever month it comes) on several  occasions some weird things happened...and as I gaze out my office window into the beautiful Cerrillos hills, it is a glorious day in the middle of January, the way the majority of winters are in northern New Mexico.
So...yesterday I went into buy a computer, having mulled over the prospect for over two months, and naturally the one I wanted was not available. I'm told it will come in a few days---so if I can keep from throwing the one I am working on at the moment out the window, or it doesn't finally just fly apart of it's own accord, I will continue this drab little daily notation going.

Friday 13
All is well and it is still Friday the 13th...we will chance going into town, and I am seriously going to buy a NEW COMPUTER. Who knows what will take place next with 4 GB of RAM and 500 GB of hardware memory...unimaginable how far technology has come in just 5 years...
Jan. 12

I fix one thing and then discover of course the Universe has rebalanced and two things are broken somewhere this case not so good in that I failed to drain the water out of our camper and naturally at minus o degrees water did it's thing.

Frozen solid.

The bad inspection seems to point out the HOT WATER TANK sadly seems to have cracked...I can hardly wait to hear it from Ruth.

So I will go online and see what new tanks cost. I mean it is my fault and it was my friend I filled the tank for in the first place.../at least my computer seems to be running... oops shouldn't count my chickens right?

Jan 10
So I thought maybe my computer problems were finally resolved only to discover, nope it's Murphy's Law as for ever...and now I have been on this machine almost non-stop for about 8 hours along with calling technicians at , who I might add have always been absolutely great, never once exhibiting the slightest irritation or snootiness because I am a klutzy ignoramus when it comes to computers, anyway, it would appear  their last help may have resolved at least some issues...

One more call, so I can open my WRITING PAGE, allowing anyone who wants to read it can...

Jan.7 Sat.
Okay I have another Tower type PC, but it does not want my WEB program, so at this point I still use my old laptop from 2001 and it is on its last electrodes...

But here we are and there you go...bbah!

Today we go to a memorial for a local man who suddenly had a brain amorism and within hours was gone.  Life is fickle, fragile and f***** many times over.

Ruth's new old car bought for 6 grand is already having conniption fits and that is how the New Year is beginning.

On the good side, I have wood together for another week or so, all of our pets are fat and sassy and it is 11:18 ad I'm still in my pajamas. Life is complicated but good.

As for new stuff, we went to the movies last night---saw the Girl with Dragon Tatoo... If you have not seen it and have not read the book, I would be curious to your critique. Ruth and I read all three books and thought as for this first rendition, it was brilliant. The big surprise was Daniel Craig. We did not think he was the right star for the role, but in fact he was exceptionally good. The gal "Lisbeth" she was simply amazing.

Jan.6 Friday
I cleaned up the pet cemetery yesterday, and sat weeping and talking with all of my little buddies, even though I guess I was just talking to myself... but it felt right to say hello again to Shiloh, Rose, Piccolo, Little Pal, Flat Tire, Sparky, Marylyn, and one little brown duck that never had a name. I wish I could buried there too when my time comes. All of these little guys were the best, and that is only from 1993...and so many more in the course of my existence...

It is strange, but if there is a God, I have often wished when I die, the one experience I could hope for would to be able to see and and touch all of the dogs and cats and one odd little white feathered hen that have been in my life...then I would know there is a Heaven.

Shiloh passed away
 DECEMBER 31,2011

  RIP SHILOH 1998 --- 2011

One week before he passed on....

On New Years Eve, Ruth's big old Akita/Chow/Sheppard, Shiloh died about 7PM. He was nearly 13 years old, and the vet told us 10 months ago, he probably only had a week to live. His whole body was filled with cancer, but despite that, the old guy carried on. He had a courageous heart and was pretty much the same dog he always was right up to the last day. He died in peace with his head between his paws near the kitchen table. He was guarding the cast food bowls to be sure he got to lick them out as usual.

Sometimes back when he was younger, he was absolutely terrible with other dogs, but little kids could climb on him, poke him in the eye or butt and he would not even blink. I grew to love him completely, and it breaks Ruth and my heart now he is gone.
There is a big hole in this house and it will be that way for a long long time.

On other things...

Jan. 05 Thurs.
I went down to the river (to see my baby, la la la) oops, no to get firewood where I have been gathering it since 1990. Every winter I have cut down dead Russian Olive, Elm, or Cottonwood and at the same time stash the slash (small limbs, debris etc. ) in central piles, so not only could I walk along the Bosque, but visitors' from the village or elsewhere.

Up until this year there has been no shortage of wood, but it looks like I have almost collected all the big hmmm, what to do after it is gone?

I really hate the idea to buy wood, being I have been so spoiled to with an endless supply in my back yard...apparently not...well, as far as big logs. There is still a mountain of off-cuts and I can still collect bundles of sticks.

I will never forget in 1976 hiking through the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania with my best buddy Mike Rowan.

We were going up a steep slope when I saw something that looked like a giant bush wiggling across a pasture. As we got closer I could see a couple of scrawny little legs under the stack, which was the size of a Volkswagen bus.  As we walked around it I see a wrinkled old lady (she looked 90 at least) about as big as a ten year old boy. I couldn't believe the size of the bundle and what the must have weighed.

She greeted us with a cheerful toothless smile and kept on walking, just like she saw a Scotsman in a kilt and a man in a velvet gypsy costume (me) every day. We were at least 50 miles from the nearest city.

I have often thought about that and wondered how long a stack of sticks about the diameter of your thumb, would last for heating and cooking in a freezing Transylvanian winter.

January 4 Wed.
I don't believe it....the old rule, "When all else fails, consult the manual..."

So over two months ago, this web program I use stopped working. Being I have blamed my computer for everything else, it  seemed right to blame for that too.

As it turns out, my web company changed the settings, and either forgot to inform me, or perhaps I overlooked their email...

So here we are. Two months to catch up on if anyone is out there.