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April entries:
APR. 1 April 3 APRIL 4 April 5 April 8 April 9 April 11 April 12 April 14 April 15 April 19 April 20
April 21 April 22 April 23 April 25 April 27 April 29
April 30
This month just flew by. It is amazing, because only 11 days until the job in Las Cruces ( I am teaching teachers how to do what I do) and then only another week before we journey to Corsica...the time is evaporating.
I can't tell you the depth of my anxiety. And yet, why not?
My anxiety is merging into sheer hysteria.
But...time, time, as the white man said, I never have time.
The red man said, you have all the time there is.
I think Carl Sandburg said that.
Still in an old mood...
CRYSTAL
Go on. act out as if
We know what we
Are knowing. You and I
We can see, yes the sea is rolling.
Act out
Eyes wide open,
We begin to feel the ocean tide,
Pull our minds wide open.
As if
We know this moment is crystal
always known from the moments before.
1. Ruth and me in party mode. 2. Me still in party mode. 3. Stuff I paint. 4. Party mode. 5. Party mood.
I am going through a poetry thing...
A PLACE
a color this morning
took me to a place long gone
a deep pallid blue the color of Payne's Grey
the color revived
the time of a land
a thousand miles from nowhere
a million dreams away
from the notions of mind
the color hung in the sky this morning
that morning
a low bank of troubled clouds
waiting to kiss the ground with blessed rain
the rain was distant
there and here then and now
the color the name of Payne's grey
where I once was
out in a chain of islands
where I had been left holding a rifle
left with a message
the old mans said if the Kodiak
comes he is a big bear--wait and see
if he comes
wait until the rifle
can touch his fur, touch just his chest
only then
pull the trigger
then and only then he will fall
left with the rifle
and the message and my fear
the wind came with the rain the color of Payne's grey
it rattled the brush
my heart was afraid
I held the rifle and waited for the Kodiak
he did not come
knowing that waiting there
in that place was the best place to stay
fear and impatience
made me move knowing
that it might be me who found the Kodiak
I walked away
into the brush to find
Payne's grey in the sky, the wind in my face
I walked on the island
a thousand miles from nowhere
a place, an island that was in chain of a long string of dots
Alaska to Siberia
in the middle of nowhere
a thousand ways from the shores of time
I walked in a world
on that day I came to a place
where no foot of man had ever stepped
I knew my feet
were the first that touched
ground under me, I felt the earth say hello
the sky was deep
a pallid blue the name of Payne's grey
should the Kodiak find me, he would smile
wind whispers
I was at peace, all was well
that day the color of Payne's grey
I found not
what I thought would come
but, only myself in the world, first to touch a place
April 26
I get up in the morning, make coffee and then sometimes go immediately to the chicken house.
I open the door and usually the ducks explode out the door squawking duck talk with the hens and the rooster right behind.
Most of the time Marilyn stays put on her roost and looks at me begging to be picked up and caressed. She is my girlfriend.
Sometimes I bring her into the house to have breakfast with Ruth and me.
Today the new kittens got to meet Marilyn at the new feeding platform, which used to be our dinner table...
I lay awake for a long time last night thinking about the next few weeks to come. When I got to my office, I looked up an old poetry folder and found what is going through my soul.
ODE TO THE ROAD
Fucked in a truck
conceived on the road
know what it is to walk down
ruthless cold beautiful suffering
hear the whoosh of 18 wheels
thumb out lonely highway 50
middle of anywhere good enough
slap dab in the LA traffic rush
California mean cops say keep walking,
Aspen-jet-set-trust-funders-talk-talk
Paris, London, Guatemala jeep trails hippy huts,
101 down the sliding drunken miles from Portland,
San Francisco to frozen blacktop fucking Fargo,
old cars coughing poison,
rental cars sweet stereo
Burying rot of Las Vegas newspaper brothels,
each mile a contagion of what next over the hill,
sleeping all night on laundromat floors,
bi-sexual nymphet queens
sweating in naughty pines
jumping into frigid rivers,
looking at the long line of a vanishing point
threading into the Nevada nobody knows,
a magic yarn this love of asphalt
one long gravel-and-bump big son-of-a-bitch
Mission Beach to Whitehorse
stood on the bridge and peed into the raging Yukon,
on that little line of thought
some engineer someone some time made,
God damn, that's what I call a road,
again right back to a thumb hanging out,
the bottom of my feet aching
9 miles of slow warming concrete from airfield to port,
the road grows palm trees where Mediterranean winds kiss
where two thousand miles north it's arctic tundra shivers,
whoever first put me on wheels
thank you for giving me the road
It always amazes me that each day can be so strange.
Today real plumbers worked on our new Bathroom.
I went into town on my 800lb. motorcycle and had a small crash.
I got home.
I read my email.
Old dreams came awake and danced in my mind.
I took stacked boards away from the side of the new extension.
Three hundred gallons of water were taken from one place to another.
I went the bar and had three or perhaps more glasses of beer.
They were great.
I flirted outrageously with a lesbian.
She flirted back.
We were safe.
April 24
Keeping up the resurrection of "when I used to be a painter" below are 5 paintings I did back in the late 60's. I was painting only in oils then, but somewhere around 73 switched to acrylic. I miss the odor of turpentine and oil...
So it is odd that so many wheels have started to roll at the same time, and many of those lines of meandering have crossed paths.
I could say much about the meaning of my images back then, and now, but rather, I would simply wish that people see what I paint.
1. The Card Game 4X5 ft. 2. King Midas. 2X6 ft. 3. Rebecca. 4x4 ft. 4. Oblivion Ring 2X4 ft. 5. Pregnant Moon 4X5 ft.
And a restored version of PM
1. Some of the camera dust removed. 2. Jeannie 3. The Oblivion Ring. 4. The Sister.
Every once in a while I get so pissed off with my fellow homo sapiens. I think they are shit.
Every once in a while I get so inspired by thought. I think it is immaculate.
Every once in a while I just get so tired. I think it is the end.
Every once in a while It seems things are possible. I think it is okay.
Sometime last summer, one afternoon I spent an hour or so whipping out an idea on a sheet of plywood that was reminiscent of the kind of painting I was doing back in the late 60's and early 70's. It just seemed a rough sketch at the time and I didn't think much about it until I hung it in the Mine Shaft Tavern. Ruth had never seen it and thought it was the best thing I had done. Then other people told me they liked it. One friend even bought it.
This was all a surprise to me, being I didn't think it was so hot.
Judge for yourself of the below image. Ruth said it is like a Mexican version of the famous painting, THE LAST WARRIOR.
1. My painting 2. A photo variation of classic painting THE LAST WARRIOR
And then I had a dream of a girl friend way back in the 60's...and then...Ruth and I talked about the idea I should return to painting... a few hours later, I get an email from Bob Sanders who was a patron of sorts that bought several painting from me in 1971, of which was the last time we ever had contact...
Hmmm...all very coincidental and cosmic kind of stuff. Bob sent photos of the paintings he bought. Later I got his telephone number and we talked about a rendezvous. I look forward to meeting him again. Wow, 37 years and a lot of water under the bridge.
1. Bob Sanders and THE SHIP OF FOOLS. 2.Portrait of Jeannie. 3. Portrait of old friends.
There is one other painting, THE LAST SUPPER that Bob bought, but it disappeared some where in time. Looking through an old portfolio I found it...
I did not get involved with computers until January 1998. A few months later I bought my first digital camera which was a basic Sony model that used a 3.5 MB floppy disc. From there I began to go into the infinite learning curve of computers and digital cameras.
My buddy Harry down in Las Cruces called me yesterday because he was excited over the recent purchase of a Canon digital camera that has something 3GB memory and 10 mega pixels ability. That makes my first Digital camera seem like a Model T Ford.
I still have a Sony (DSC-F717) which has a 256 MB memory card and 5 mega pixels capacity, so the metaphor for cars brings it up to about a 1967 Chevy Impala compared to Harry's toy. Never the less, it has been faithful and I love it.
For the first couple years of my cyber-space experience I spent anywhere from 8 t0 14 hours a day on the computer, mainly inside Photoshop and the thousands of digital photos I had amassed. Some of that work is on another page, http://kewolve.com/Graphics%202a.htm but just for fun, below are few of my favorite manipulated photos.
1. When I was an undergraduate at NMSU I put together a few of the students in a sculpture class. 2. An idea for a Book cover. 3. A fantasy out the back window of where I lived. 4. My mentor and spiritual father, Mel Flemming and his two sons. 5. A Japanese woman I was once in love with. 6. My idea of hair dressing. 7. A collection of a few of the old motels in Las Cruces. 8. My old van I called the ORANGE CRATE flying into the restaurant in Fargo , North Dakota, where I painted many murals. 9. Fantasy of New York City. 10. One day in an art gallery.
Try again with SUN IN THE HAND PHOTOS
It is finally beginning to warm up in New Mexico. I look at the space that was going to be our garden this summer and know it will never happen. Only 4 weeks until we go to Corsica which means I will be gone for a month at the time most beneficial to tend a garden. When I come back I have a job in Las Cruces and may be gone for weeks.
And so no garden. Perhaps that is not so bad. My last attempt at vegetables was not so cost efficient. I t worked out that two scrawny tubers of some kind cost about $100 a lb. The green things that did grow well, nearly got to completion when the ravenous bugs from hell decided to start a new civilization in the middle of my patch.
Having web problems of uploading photos...test page of old photos from previous days...
This is the bathroom at present state, with the walls removed and shower and big Jacuzzi style tub ready...
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And the photos or at least some of them I have been trying to upload for a few days...
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And from my friend Harry in Las Cruces:
Science Exam
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these
children's science exam answers!
>>
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>>
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>>
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>>
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
>>
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>>
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>>
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
>>
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
>>
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
>>
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the
borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the
borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five
bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
>>
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
>>
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
>>
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
>>
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
April 18
Still web problems...
April 17
Web problems...
On the lighter side of things, have a look at the new kitten chilling out...
The TAXMAN cometh.
I don't pay much tax other than when I buy taxable goods, and most of that other than gasoline goes to the state of New Mexico, so I don't begrudge the money...much.
But money that goes to the federal government is beginning to annoy me in a very political way. I see no reason to support a war in Iraq. They can say what they want, our noble leaders, but one would have to be a complete moron to not see it is about OIL.
We need oil only because of the greed /laziness of our industrial/automotive base and a life style that none of us want to give up. The truth is one day there will no longer be oil, or what left of it will be horded by the powerful armies of the most desperate of humanity. It will not be pretty.
I do not point fingers blindly. I am part of this mess. I drive a truck, own a motorcycle, use Ruth's car while two old but running clunkers sit in the driveway. I am as guilty as any for using a resource that will be gone by the time my daughter is my age.
So what to do?
The one simple thing that each and every one of us can do is to open our eyes and talk to other people about a problem that is bigger than all of us put together. We can complain openly about the INSANITY of a war that is over OIL.
Will that change anything? Probably not. But we will not walk to our graves in silence.
2. Huh, what? What happened to one? 3. We partied it dude! 4. The snow will fall. 5. Snow. 6. More snow. 7. More. 8. Even more. 9. Lots more.
More pics of Corsica...
1.Palmenti farm. 2. The cliff city of Bonifaccio. 3. Valley near Isle Rouse. 4. All the Italians on Isle Rouse beach. 5. Valley of Bastia.
April 10
Last night the weather turned atrocious for April, cold and wind blowing branches against the window. I had odd dreams and so did Ruth. This morning it is still cold and the wind continues. Combined with that, the news is full of the usual mayhem and madness, plus the uncomfortable fact that airlines are in difficult times...not that I have stock in airlines---just two tickets to Corsica which I hope stay good.
The odd thing for both me and Ruth, even though we are excited about our vacation in the Med, we also have a lot of insecurity about leaving our little world of New Mexico. Dread, may be the better word.
But, the photos below are for me, just to remind myself where we are going...
1. Beach at Porticcio. 2. The Bastelicca River that runs through the Palmenti. 3. Beach at Capo De Feno. 4. Yacht harbor near Palmenti. 5. Another beach at Porticcio. 6. The farm, Palmenti.
Dreaming about the time to come in Corsica...
Below are a few photos of when I was last in Corsica, 2002. No doubt much will have changed since then, especially commercial development. The summer of 2002, I could see things had changed, largely due to arrest and imprisonment of the entire FLNC hierarchy, the nationalist who had regularly bombed anybody who wanted Corsica to resemble the Riviera from Marseilles to the boot of Italy...greed has no stopping.
But I know there are few places which will never change much, and one of those places is the west coast of Corsica near Porto.
1. Mountains above Porto. 2. Road around Porto Bay. 3. Porto Bay. 4. My old Renault at Porto. 5. Porto Bay. 6. Porto. 7. North of Porto. 8. West coast below Calvi. 9. Near Calvi. 10. Below Calvi. 11. West Coast of Corsica. 12. West coast.
1. Jezebelle and Scarlette 2. Beep and Peep
It must be springtime because new creatures are popping up everywhere. The kittens were Ruth's idea and the baby ducks mine.
Other than that I am almost finished for the moment with the ROOF PROJECT which means I can turn my attention back to finishing the EXTENSION which started in early October.
In the meantime I have a myriad of stuff in front of me with only 6 weeks before we head off to Corsica. http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=Ajaccio%2C+Corsica&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2
1. Corsica looks like a potato with a finger. 2. Ajaccio, the capitol and just a few kilometers from the farm we will stay. I once lived in a mansion on the beach where the arrow points. 3. My friend Rollie lives in the apartment just above the palm tree in the center. 4. A back street of Ajaccio. 5. The mountains in the center of the
My head is almost ready to spin.
The odd thing every year I dig up my garden in one place or the other with the full intention of getting a vegetable patch started, and as it looks, once again other activities take me to other places.
I was not meant to be a farmer, but who knows, one day it may happen...at least a 10 by 20 foot piece of earth...
Wow.
Sometimes I wake up into the day and I wonder how I have got this far.
Krishnamurti said, "Perceive what is."
Another thing he says over and over is :
"The Observer Observed."
Now what ever the that is supposed to mean, it obviously is, a big answer.
But we all go through life change, not just then, but always.
And so it is.
Okay the Bar and Grill was my contribution to April Fool's Day. But the Roof Top does exist.
Now is a new day and a new series of artwork exhibited at the Mine Shaft Tavern where it appears for the moment I share the artist in residence position with an old colleague who sadly is no longer in this world--Ross Ward, who I knew first only by his legend.
http://www.tinkertown.com/ross.html
1. Ruth and Jet meet for April Fool's Day. 2. We all go to the bar where my new pieces hang. 3. The horse. 4. The Buckeroo. 5. The Wind Horse. 6. Ross Ward's paintings over the bar. 7. Miner's Angel. 8. Xmas in Madrid. 9. The Coal Train. 10. The Mine Shed.
Oh, but something very funny did happen on April 1. I got money that dropped from the sky which allowed me to buy Ruth and I tickets to Corsica. It is done and we are going. Hooray!
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1. Roof Top gets there. 2. RT still gets there. 3. RT from another there., 4. RT just waits for first customers.